Pinktorial

Part one of the article "Best Tits In The World," by Dave Rosen,
published in the premiere issue of Looker Magazine, March 2003.


The measurements are 46-26-36. That's 20 inches larger around the chest than she is around the waist, which is pretty formidable. She wears a 36HH-cup bra. That's double-H, more than twice the size of a D-cup, which most of civilization considers stacked. But here's the thought that's really on your mind right now: They can't be real. No way. Those babies are filled with silicone bags, or some kind of other doctoral enhancement shit. There is just no way on God's green earth that big tits which look so firm and pointy can be real.

Well, they're real. Every inch of them. The only doctor who's ever touched them is the gynecologist at her annual exam. They feel like real tits. They bounce like real tits. Britain's Linsey Dawn McKenzie is the real deal through-and-through. A mammary marvel? No doubt about it. The biggest natural tits on earth? No. The most amazing? Yes. The best? Absolutely. By far.

"Once I hit puberty, at about 13, they started to grow," Linsey said in her English accent that makes her sound so innocent. "And, when I was 14, they were enormous, at least a D-cup. When I was 15, everybody's eyes were popping out. At school during sports day, I'd be the only girl with big knockers. I found it a bit embarrassing to run in front of the boys."

Obviously, she got over her embarrassment...in a hurry. One day last year, Linsey was on vacation in Miami. She stepped out of her rental car on South Beach wearing a tight cut-off top and a miniskirt. Now, scantily clad women on South Beach are not unusual, but Linsey is not just any woman. A couple of obviously awestruck guys drove past her and yelled out, "Are they real?" Rather than answering, Linsey just jumped up and down, and the lacy bra she was wearing barely contained her ample assets.

But if Linsey had gotten out of her car in London, nobody would have asked, "Are they real?" Everybody there knows. She's a celebrity in England in a way that a nude model could never be a celebrity in the United States, a genuine media star. On her 18th birthday, she took off her knickers for the first time for SCORE. She has been romantically linked with several British celebrities, including soccer stars Dean Holdsworth and David Beckham (now married to former Spice Girl Victoria Adams) and actor Dean Gaffney.

The celebrity stuff and the gossip are two things Linsey can do without. She has a hard time hiding from the public eye. She can go out without makeup, but what's she going to do about those breasts? She can't hide them, even in a sweatshirt. They're just there. Unfortunately, she shares a bond with most big-breasted women: Because she has big tits, people think she's a slut.

"I'm very conscious about people around me," Linsey said. "In England, there are a lot of malicious people and they lie about me all the time. They say, Oh, yeah, she's a slut,' and they accuse me of shagging with this person and that person in a pub bathroom, and that's not true. It's so unfair and it upsets me for people to think that just because I do this, I'm a tramp. Sex isn't that important to me to have it in pub toilets." Fortunately, she knows one thing people predicted about her is, so far, absolutely untrue: "Everyone said that by the time I reached a certain age, my boobs would be down to my ankles," she said, proudly tweaking her chest as she spoke. "But they're just as firm now as they were when I was 18, and there's not an ounce of silicone in them."
End of Part One
Photos: 68

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